Wildlife Photography & My Mental Health

When I was younger, I revelled in the prospect of starting a new sport or hobby. It must have given me a dopamine rush... until it didn't. I bounced around trying everything one could possibly try, from figure skating to painting to roller derby. I became frustrated when I wasn't as good as I wanted to be right away, often moving on quickly to the next thing. This was the pattern well into my forties. I can't count how many cameras I have bought over the years, following the same pattern of trying to rush to the finish line without taking the time to be "bad" at something. That was until 3 years ago when I decided enough was enough.

One of my favourite moments spending time with bears on Vancouver Island.

I wish I could say that when I bought my camera this time around, I was prepared to be patient and kind to myself while I learned (and continue to). I'm hard on myself and still struggle with the need to be really good at something (whatever that is). However, this time really was different. I haven't given up, and I continue to work at my wildlife photography. And... I discovered something really valuable along the way.

Many people struggle with anxiety; I'm one of those people. I'm often "in my head", worrying about the past, the future and the present. Sometimes I even get panic attacks. It can manifest as overwhelm and depression, which is fun. To make matters worse, I internalize it and don't talk about it, self-isolating to try and pretend it's not happening.

If you're accustomed to constant self-talk and chatter in your head, it can be exhausting. You just need a break sometimes. I discovered that when I am out in nature and photographing animals, all of the chatter STOPS. It's the only time I am really at peace (outside of sleeping, lol). It's such an amazing respite for me. So, perhaps that is why I have stuck it out this long this time. And while GETTING OUT is sometimes a barrier for my brain, I know that once I am out there I always feel so much better. Wildlife photography has helped my mental health in so many ways, and for that I am so grateful.